I Got Some ‘Splaining to Do

28 04 2010

When I’ve breathed my last breath, when my number is up, when I arrive at the pearly gates, I think I’m going to have to give an accounting for a couple of untimely deaths.

(I’m assuming I’ll get a pass on all those ants.  You-know-who may have thought they were a good idea when He created them, but surely in the intervening time He has come to the conclusion, like most of us, that in some cases you can have too much of a good thing.  At least that’s what I’m counting on.)

The deaths of which I speak affected creatures a little higher up on the food chain, specifically a squirrel and a chipmunk.

The Squirrel

I’m hoping I can be forgiven for this one because I started out with the best of intentions.  We owned a cat and a gerbil.  (I know–poor planning, but sometimes timing is everything.)  We kept the gerbil in my son’s room with the lid tightly attached and a book on top to secure it.  We kept his door closed all the time.  The kitty knew the room held pleasures that she could only imagine.  But we were on top of the situation.

What, you may be asking, does this have to do with a squirrel?  Stay with me.

We hired some painters to paint the exterior of our house.  The head honcho was a nice guy who happened to really like cats. (He was actually the person who told me our furball was a Maine coon cat.)  I trusted him to be mindful of where the cat was in the house as various windows were opened and closed so our precious feline wouldn’t escape.

And so I left on my errands.

What I forgot to mention was the gerbil stashed in my son’s room.

After an hour or so as I was motoring around I suddenly realized that my son’s door would most likely be left open and young gerbil’s life was at risk.  Speaking of risk, I knew I had to go home immediately to right the situation and so made some road maneuver not covered in the DMV manual.  Fortunately, no policemen were watching.  Unfortunately, a squirrel was making a move of his own at the same time.  I felt the thud as the car hit him.  I actually didn’t see his limp little body in the road, and can only assume he made it into the woods to die. (But–just maybe–he was okay, right?)

Anyway, I got home in time to save the gerbil, but I’ve got to live with this squirrel on my conscience now.

The Chipmunk

I put water in a big plastic bin and added Chlorox.  I used the mixture to clean our outdoor furniture and recycle bins.  When I finished, I hesitated to just dump the water out as it contained Chlorox.  I knew I’d never hear the end of it if I killed a patch of grass.  So I left it to deal with later.

Shortly thereafter we had company and my husband moved this large container off to the side.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Several weeks passed.

I didn’t happen upon the container until a couple of days ago, and in it I found a dead chipmunk.  YUCK!  I’m not sure whether he drowned or died from the Chlorox.  (No autopsy was done.)

My dear hubby cleaned up the mess.  This is what husbands are for.

It might be a bit of a stretch, but I’m hoping when I have to account for my actions, he will share part of the blame with me.  Again, I’m thinking this is what husbands are for.

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20 responses

28 04 2010
Raul Alanis

I just hope squirrels and chipmunks don’t go to heaven…they may tell their side of the story…:-) jk…but really

http://www.wutevs.wordpress.com

28 04 2010
Poor Squirrel and Chipmunk! « Meg92's Blog

[…] So the blog post I chose to read was the blog I Got Splaining to do. It was about a Woman who  first neglected to tell a man who was painting the house to close her sons door because the cat will probably go in and attack the Garble. On the way home she drove raucously and killed a Squirrel. Then while cleaning her patio furniture she left Clorox infested water out and a couple of days later she found a dead Chipmunk inside. Blog […]

28 04 2010
“I Got Some ‘Splaining To Do” « Chansexi's Blog

[…] leave a response So today I read a blog about a woman who has a gerbil and she leaves it in her sons room so her cat wont get to it. So her house was being painted and she went along her little happy way doing errands. Then she realized that her sons door would most likely be open. The gerbils life was in danger because of the el gato. The woman did some illegal maneuver in the road. How do I know? Well she said hopefully no policemen were watching. During her turn a squirrel decided to run across the road and she heard the thud. She didn’t look to see if he was okay but, to help her sleep at night, she tells herself that he got to the woods okay. Then she had some water mixed with Clorox outside to clean her outdoor furniture and her recycle bins. She left it out there because she says “When I finished, I hesitated to just dump the water out as it contained Clorox.  I knew I’d never hear the end of it if I killed a patch of grass.  So I left it to deal with later.” Shortly after her husband moved the container because they had company. A couple of days later she goes to the container and finds a dead chipmunk. Which she makes her ‘oh so brave’ husband take out.  She says “My dear hubby cleaned up the mess.  This is what husbands are for. It might be a bit of a stretch, but I’m hoping when I have to account for my actions, he will share part of the blame with me.  Again, I’m thinking this is what husbands are for.”the ‘splaining […]

28 04 2010
Wild Focus

Wow you were on a killing spree…[haha] just joking…We all make mistakes so I’m sure the little angel squirrel and chipmunk will forgive you 🙂

28 04 2010
slamdunk

Ha, great comment Raul.

28 04 2010
SallyK

Did you ever see those squirrels play “chicken” with cars? It’s a wonder we haven’t “thumped” more of them! I cringe when I see one crouching on the side of the road, waiting, waiting, then BAM! Run right in front of the car – they must laugh at the screeching brakes… North Coast Muse @ http://sally1029.wordpress.com

28 04 2010
becky

Ha! What a great post. It makes me think of quite a few years ago when my mom hit our cat and someone else’s dog. In the same week.

When you get to the pearly gates, tell them that story and I’m sure you’ll be just fine. 🙂

28 04 2010
ramonakent

Me and squirrels go way back.

28 04 2010
Alice

Nkt nkt, murder she wrote

28 04 2010
Erin

That’s so sad! I’ve never killed an animal before, but if I did I know I would never forget it!! I have seen people run over animals, and that was enough!

28 04 2010
Goodie Girl

Oh no…you poor thing!!!!!! I would be devastated. I know how you feel though…every day I drive him through the canyons of Malibu and I can’t tell you how many animals I have slammed on my brakes or swerved to miss…those little things seem to like to play chicken with me!

~GG

28 04 2010
Remain.Simple

They are cute but they dig holes in the neighborhoods lawns.

28 04 2010
Mensa Squirrel

Upsetting on so many levels. I’ll have nightmares for weeks. Thank goodness I don’t live in your neck of the woods.

28 04 2010
Summer Embee

I love that your husband will be tried for accessory to murder! 🙂 Don’t worry, I ran over a slow pigeon and screamed, then laughed. I’m definitely going to be waving to you from the wrong side of the pearly gates.

28 04 2010
Andrea

You’ll be fine I am sure both creatures understood, and they have forgiven you 🙂

28 04 2010
Kris

aww… poor chipmunk and squirrel! I like the way you write. Very clever and witty. Made me smile.

29 04 2010
12:45

Oh I love this! I don’t think you have anything to worry about. There must be about 1 million cases of squirrel and chipmunk each year. He simply does not have the time to address them all.

Cheer!

6 05 2010
Corporate Gifts

Wow!!!At least the gerbil didn’t die and u were trying to save a life.It’s okay!

17 05 2010
Some Girl

I need to get me one of those husband thingys lol

18 05 2010
unforgivens

I found your site from the WordPress.com page which has several sites that are strong enough to make the page. Your site is wonderful and beautiful.

Thanks…

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